I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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