I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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