help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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