yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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