Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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