so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
