i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
