She announced her abortion via fbk
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
