I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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