I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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