No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection