Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?