Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably