sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
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As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
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She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize