dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
