Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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