I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
