Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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