I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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