id be glad to
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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