I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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