I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
