His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
