I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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