So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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