kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
