Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
