the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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