Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
