also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
