Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
