He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
