My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Congratulations! We have a period
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
