Pregnant stripper...not hot.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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