I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize