i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
