I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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