He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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