i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Randomize
