We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
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