she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
