A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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