i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
