I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You brought string cheese to the strip club
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
