oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
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I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
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They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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