What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
