I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
