I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
