Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
