I skipped work to stalk him.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
