bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize