They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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