butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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