im having a threesome with these popsicles
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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