everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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